This is a submission from Janet Blatz:
I love the water. I love sitting on the beach watching the waves form with such great gusto and roll in to meet the sand and then disappear like a whisper. Watching the waves come and then go over and over makes my soul very happy and at peace. However leading up to the Ladies retreat my soul felt like it wasn’t watching the waves from the shoreline but instead it was being crashed by the endless waves in the middle of the ocean; waves of stress, waves of worries and waves of grief and I felt like I was drowning. Just like waves in an ocean, these waves of thoughts and emotions at times had more power than other times but the impact of them still can tire a person over time.
It was for this reason I was looking forward to the retreat – I thought maybe a change of setting and schedule could bring relief and rest to a tired soul. The soothing of the soul didn’t come from resting in nature like I thought. It came in when I found myself painting during a session; it came when I was prayed for during the Saturday prayer time; it came while swimming in the lake late one night.
Has my soul been totally healed? No. I was reminded over the weekend that my circumstances may not ever change, however, if I change my focus from trying survive the waves (or even question why I am facing those waves) to the Creator of the waves, healing will happen. Letting go of old ways of dealing with stress, of worrying, of grieving is hard but trying to continue to embrace for the impact of those waves again and again is harder. When I choose to seek the Creator, instead of embracing for the next wave, a little part of my soul finds itself on the shoreline, sitting and watching the waves that once caused so much pain and anguish, slowly roll in and disappears without disturbing the peace.